Welcome back to the Forestry Mountain Bike Commissioners!

Bugger me. You take a few weeks off and what happens?

In the same week that the FC announce that their flacid publication Forest Life is actually a load of crap that nobody reads and invariably featured a spotty twat on a mountain bike on the cover, the FC have also won the rights to hold The World Falling Off Me Bike and Scuffing Me Shins Championship in our beloved Dalby Forest.

Thanks to several million pounds of public subsidy, the FC have spent years promoting this sport and can afford to invest in endless design consultants, ecological surveys, heritage risk assessments, public health benefit appraisals and god knows what. But all they have done is promote the idea that it`s ok to set off hell-for-leather through your nearest wood regardless.

Ebor Forestry would be pleased to hear from woodland owners suffering from these government sponsored idiots who desecrate ancient monuments and abuse public rights of way so that we can put a stop to this pestilence once and for all.

It wouldn`t be so bad if the buggers could be arsed to cycle up hill for once as if it was a proper sport.

Lazy, useless, ne`r-do-well bastards.

And that`s just the Forestry Commission.