Forestry Commission call for expansive tree planting to combat climate change!

In amongst the vacuum of Yorkshire forestry something occasionally happens that makes us at Ebor Forestry stop and think.

Only five weeks to Christmas.

Shit.

5-4-3-2-1 Thunderbirds are go!

All we need now are some foresters to drive the fuckers!

Otley based consultancy bites the mud during rain hit recession.

Gay icon to some, Glenn, reflects on the vagaries of current woodfuel markets

Otley received a blow to its tourist industry last week when it was announced that Glenn View Outdoor Pursuits Centre announced that there would be no more announcements about forestry and green infrastructure and stuff from its vast, expansive lawns.

A spokesperson for Glenn Corner Environmental Consultants, said that trading difficulties during the current recession had meant that difficult commercial and emotional decisions had been made and that GCEC (part of the Ebor Holdings Group of Companies) would be relocating first of all to the nearest mum`s.

The proprietor and owner of Glenn View Outdoor Pursuits Centre was unavailable for comment.

LOADSAMONEY!

The FC still have loads of money to spend on woodland creation and have therefore extended the usual 30th September deadline for Woodland Creation Grant applications.


It really helps your application if your proposals include planting woodland so close to people that will it obstruct their satellite TV reception when analogue is turned off, interfere with a view in 15 years time and harbour drug dealing dens in about 20 years.

And there was I still trying to get me head round yield class!


Extra points can be earned if your proposals include planting really complicated native woodland species mixtures at various spacings with attractive grassy open areas where the widest range of people can engage with the natural environment. Your application will be fast-tracked if the local planning authority subsequently decide to bulldoze your woodland within 10 years to make way for affordable housing and a nice new sports centre where people have to pay to go running on-the-spot instead of running through some nice woodland in the fresh air.

The BNP and what passes for the politics of forestry

Nick Griffin, leader of the BNP, sucks thoughtfully on some French birch sap wine. Hope it chokes the f***er.

It`s not very often that this blog gets involved in politics as such although we try to offer a frequent critique in our own humble way about the vacillations of various government departments and QUANGOs charged with the management of our trees, woods and forests.

However, we thought it might be pertinent if we tested the arboreal credentials of the BNP by asking them via their website a few tree related questions such as:

• Where do you stand on sycamore?



• Kent and the south-east developed a major rural industry based on sweet chestnut which was introduced by the Romans in the olden days. How would you repatriate this tree?



• The BNP acknowledges a recent British history based on a collective consciousness of images of earnest British industry that was fueled by coal and timber. Just exactly where did all those pit-props come from?



• The BNP presumably have offices somewhere and pound to a penny they`re held up by construction grade sitka spruce which may have been grown in Britain but ultimately has no business being here according to your tenets. Never mind, will you live in a yurt made out of British hazel but made by a Polish woodsman who`s come over here and stolen a job from some bloke who does plastering and doesn`t know how to make yurts?



• Recent research has shown that York Minster and therefore the entire edifice of Anglican theology is held up by German oak. That must be really annoying for you?

Ebor Forestry will let you know when we get the BNP`s response.

Don`t hold your breath.

Please let us have your thoughts on the eugenics of forestry at eborforestry@googlemail.com

It`s not just plucking ukuleles, you know!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTIv8hP-UIA

Somewhat rueful at being taken out, let alone being taken out to see a ukulele orchestra, Ebor Forestry can wholeheartedly recommend the above combo which me and Mrs Ebor Forestry, no. 2 daughter and Mrs Ebor Forestry`s friend, Boz, saw last night at the Opera House in York.

http://www.ukuleleorchestra.com/main/home.aspx

Woodland Creation Grant by the seat of us pants!

Watch Ebor Forestry race through a familiar European medieval city to meet the 30th September deadline recently.

Stick with it to catch a glimpse at the end of Mr and Mrs Ebor Forestry celebrating the successful delivery of their e.wgs 7!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iw29e7tFxQE