Countryfile is moving!

Ebor Forestry doesn`t fancy Matt but would buy Meg a drink or two!

Bugger me. They`re moving Countryfile Crumbly John Craven to the Sunday teatime slot on the moving BBC television.

For the last 20 years me and Mrs Ebor Forestry have enjoyed a mutual Sunday morning sex romp imagining the other as vicariously either John Craven or Ben Fogle or on a bad day that awful woman from Ireland in an anorak.

And now what! They`ve moved the bastard to teatime where they will no doubt promulgate their half-baked, badly researched interpretation of the British countryside designed for 8 year olds to a few more hundred thousand soporifics full of TESCO factory-farmed roast chicken dinners!

Now, I for one am not having rumpy-pumpys with Mrs Ebor Forestry at teatime for anyone using a vicarious former Blue Peter presenter as a sex-aid unless it`s Lesley Judd or John Noakes and I don`t care if it`s Matt whatsisname.

I`d rather have The Archers on a DAB radio whilst enjoying the fruits of Mrs Ebor Forestry`s body.

Or better still, just doze off in front of Midsomer Murders.

Forestry Commission bugger about with the EWGS again!

The Forestry Commission have announced even more changes to the EWGS which can be viewed at http://www.forestry.gov.uk/forestry/INFD-6myjjh

If we`ve got this right, the FC are now making it easier to qualify for the grants that were available before the FC imposed a new set of rules that made it really difficult for the small woodland owner to qualify for grant aid for before the the FC changed the rules back to nearly how they were before.

I`ll have to consult with Mrs Ebor Forestry about that -

- bugger, she`s gone off to bed all menopausal.

You naughty blogger!

Do you really want to rub up Her Majesty`s Stationery Office the wrong way?

Ebor Forestry are delighted as always to hear from our chums at the Forestry Commission - that is until now.

Today we received an email from the Head of Paperclips and Ring-binding admonishing us for using the FC logo without permission and threatening us with a visit by some big dudes wearing shades and dark suits and wielding Kevlar clipboards from Her Majesty`s Stationery Office if we didn`t remove the item suggesting that the FC in any way sponsored Ebor Forestry`s blog.

We have duly complied as can be seen by the absence of any suggestion that this blog is sponsored by the Forestry Commission and we would like to apologise for any offence or confusion that may have occurred as a result of our gentle attempts at satire.

After all, we wouldn`t want to offend Her Majesty`s government.

It`s doing such a good job.

RIP Ian Carr

Ebor Forestry are saddened to learn of the death of British jazz trumpet icon, Ian Carr, who died on 25th February.

Ian Carr, and in particular his band Nucleus, helped form Ebor Forestry`s more serious musical inclinations during our teenage years in the 1970`s.

An obituary can be viewed here http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2009/feb/28/obituary-ian-carr-jazz

Early Nucleus with gravity defying flugelhorn by Ian at 1:46 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgIz1mAOuu8