Ebor Forestry doesn`t fancy Matt but would buy Meg a drink or two!Bugger me. They`re moving Countryfile Crumbly John Craven to the Sunday teatime slot on the moving BBC television.
For the last 20 years me and Mrs Ebor Forestry have enjoyed a mutual Sunday morning sex romp imagining the other as vicariously either John Craven or Ben Fogle or on a bad day that awful woman from Ireland in an anorak.
And now what! They`ve moved the bastard to teatime where they will no doubt promulgate their half-baked, badly researched interpretation of the British countryside designed for 8 year olds to a few more hundred thousand soporifics full of TESCO factory-farmed roast chicken dinners!
Now, I for one am not having rumpy-pumpys with Mrs Ebor Forestry at teatime for anyone using a vicarious former Blue Peter presenter as a sex-aid unless it`s Lesley Judd or John Noakes and I don`t care if it`s Matt whatsisname.
I`d rather have The Archers on a DAB radio whilst enjoying the fruits of Mrs Ebor Forestry`s body.
Or better still, just doze off in front of Midsomer Murders.
And now what! They`ve moved the bastard to teatime where they will no doubt promulgate their half-baked, badly researched interpretation of the British countryside designed for 8 year olds to a few more hundred thousand soporifics full of TESCO factory-farmed roast chicken dinners!
Now, I for one am not having rumpy-pumpys with Mrs Ebor Forestry at teatime for anyone using a vicarious former Blue Peter presenter as a sex-aid unless it`s Lesley Judd or John Noakes and I don`t care if it`s Matt whatsisname.
I`d rather have The Archers on a DAB radio whilst enjoying the fruits of Mrs Ebor Forestry`s body.
Or better still, just doze off in front of Midsomer Murders.
