Mrs Ebor Forestry and no.2 daughter discuss whether it`s too wet to broadcast Corsican seed. October 2008. Strensall Common SSSI. This is quite possibly the most boring document written by the most boring document writer in the Department for Boring Documents ever in the history of The National Museum of Boring Documents, Silsden, West Yorkshire.
But don`t let that put you off.
Here are some of the bureaucratic nothing-speak gems from the Forestry Commission you can enjoy with a bit of fortitude and a stiff drink.
"Although some of the evidence remains uncertain we believe we can gather enough information to make a rationale judgement at a graininess that reflects the precision of the delivery tools at our disposal."
"We will invite relevant Government leads for the delivery mechanisms to express the implications of each option for the delivery mechanism and the likely impact on the desired outcomes and other issues."
"Process evaluation: we will set up other mechanisms by which we will evaluate the process by which the policy is delivered employing criteria such as change in organisational reputation, stakeholder engagement, staff understanding, and transaction costs."
This gobbledygook is, of course, taken from The FC`s Restoration of open habitats from woods and forests: process for developing policy.
And we defy anyone to find it on the FC`s website now.
As enthusiastic FC website surfers, we stumbled across it some time ago and were attracted to the bit about open space which is, of course, an anathema to proper foresters. (In fact, I have known me and Mrs Ebor Forestry walk the dog on Strensall Common SSSI near York while secretively sprinkling Forestart birch seed down our trouser legs!) http://www.forestart.co.uk/
This document is clearly a precursor to a new suite of government guidelines that provide an excuse for not restocking felled areas with productive forest and therefore reduces the government`s grant commitment!
Brilliant!
Anyway, the FC aim to complete their "sharing" of this policy document with stakeholders in March 2009.
Have you been consulted?
Try and find this priceless piece of sh** and bugg** f***ing boll***s at
http://www.forestry.gov.uk/
