Thursday, October 9, 2008


Today, Ebor Forestry`s team of arborioliologits spotted a Ganoderma fruit body on a fuck-off beech on the edge of one of our local authority client`s woods. Further inspection revealed the advanced presence of Ustulina deusta. The tree has a natural bias towards a busy junction with traffic lights and stationary traffic.

Because of the tree`s size and age, it`s possible that some bats might be whiling away the hours in this tree before it`s time to go to sleep for the winter.


Ebor Forestry want to fell the tree before it`s roots give up sending 5 tons of hardwood timber earthwards onto a minibus of disabled children parked innocently waiting for a green light or some similar awful scenario such as a stretch-Hummer full of one-legged Iraq veterans from Rotheram on their way to an interview with Harry Gration and Christa Ackroyd for BBC`s Look North.


Now, because all bat species in the UK are protected by European law, there is a delay while a trained bat expert is found who can monitor the tree for emerging bats so that we can comply with European Habitat Regulations.


It`s Friday teatime and everyone to do with trees and bats are in the 3 Legged Mare in York with their phone`s switched off enjoying their third pint of Centurion Ale.


What should you do?


Join in Ebor Forestry`s latest poll and enjoy the adrenalin rush that is urban forestry.

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